[ scrummy toes ]
by kHo

“Um. Could you not do that?’

House looked up, perplexed. “Do what?’

Wilson scrunched his nose up, staring at House's feet. “That.’

“Cut my toenails,’ House asked, looking back down and resuming his task. “Why?’

“Because, Greg,’ Wilson said, his tone disgusted. “Your nail clippings are getting all over my carpet.’

House smirked up at him. “Your point?’

“That's disgusting,’ Wilson said, visibly shuddering. “Pick them up at least, would you?’

“I will when I'm done,’ House muttered, examining his foot. “These clippers are awful, by the way. Look at how jagged it cuts,’ he said, shoving his foot in Wilson's face. “They're dangerous, they could cut you.’

Wilson held up a hand, pushing House's foot away. “Would you please keep your scrummy toes away from my face?’

House flashed a winning smile and lowered his foot, placing it on the ground and then picking up his bum leg and plopping it in Wilson's lap. “Your turn.’

Wilson sighed, looking wearily down at the foot in his lap. “For what, exactly?’

“Well I can't very well cut the nails on that one, can I,’ House said, raising an eyebrow. “I can't even bend it, remember?’

Wilson's nose wrinkled again as he continued to stare at it. “So you want me to cut them?’

“It's not that hard, really,’ House said, nudging Wilson lightly with his foot. “You just fit the metal bits around the nail and press down--’

“I know how to cut toenails,’ Wilson said, sighing heavily and picking up House's foot. “I just don't think I'm very comfortable cutting yours.’

“It turns you on, doesn't it,’ House said with a teasing lilt to his voice. “You have a toe fetish.’

“Ah yes,’ Wilson said, a faint smile appearing on his face. “How I've dreamt of clipping your toenails.’

“They're clean, ya know,’ House said, nudging his foot against Wilson's hand. “Just washed them. Feel free to do whatever you please.’

“I'll be sure to keep that in mind,’ Wilson mumbled, taking the clippers out of House's hand and frowning down at his foot. “I can't believe you talked me into this.’

“To be fair, I didn't,’ House said, settling back in his chair. He rested his laced fingers on his stomach and closed his eyes, a dreamy smile on his face. “Very little talking was involved in getting you to do it.’

“That's cause I'm a sucker for your charms, Greg,’ Wilson grumbled, snapping down hard on House's big toenail, finding a little bit of solace in the fact that House jumped. “You really know how to woo me.’

“It's my winning personality,’ House said with a self-satisfied smirk.

“And,’ Wilson said, snapping the clippers down on his next victim. “Your modesty.’

“Yes, there's that,’ House said, nodding and opening his eyes to look at Wilson's handiwork. “Not so close. I don't want to have ingrown toenails.’

“How do you usually manage,’ Wilson grumbled, snapping down on the second to last toe, frowning as it went jagged. “To keep your toenails neat if you can't do it yourself?’

“Chase.’

Wilson looked up at him sharply. “Chase?’

House nodded. “Yep.’

“Robert Chase,’ Wilson clarified, lowering his hand and resting it on House's foot. “Chase who hates you? Whom you hate?’

“The very same.’

Wilson shook his head. “You're lying.’

House smirked. “What makes you say that?’

Wilson shrugged, going back to finish off what he'd started. “Because Chase wouldn't cut your toenails, and you'd never let him.’

“You take the fun out of everything by knowing me so well,’ House said, sounding defeated. “I go to a salon.’

Examining House's toes he smiled in triumph, looking up with a gleam in his eye. “Done!’

“Good boy,’ House said, smiling and sitting up, letting his foot slip off of Wilson's lap. “You get a treat now.’

Wilson raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What flavor?’

“Gregory House flavored,’ House said, leaning forward and yanking on Wilson's tie. “Sound good?’

Wilson smiled, his fingers coming up to tangle in House's hair. “It's my favorite.’

House grinned and closed the distance, kissing Wilson and pulling him closer, his fingers wrapped around his tie tightly. “You realize this is going to become a habit now, don't you?’

Wilson laughed, looking down. “As long as you promise to pick up your mess, and I always get kissed? I think I can deal with it.’