"We're going to die."

John's head slammed back into the metal door behind him with such a force that Rodney actually jumped.

"Jesus, Colonel, you scared me half to death."

John snorted and reached up to run a hand through his hair, pulling his knees up in front of him.  "Probably not, because if you were half dead, I would think your complaining would be half as loud."

Rodney glared at him and somehow John was almost past the point of even being angry anymore, because he could feel his mouth twitching on a smile.  "I'm not complaining, I'm worrying, because, in case you haven't noticed, we're locked in this thing, no one knows we're here, we have no food, no water, no radios, no anything that would do us any good, and, unless I'm wrong, and, ya know, I'm never wrong--"

John lifted an eyebrow.  "Well.  Not never."

Rodney's eyes narrowed.  "Hardly ever. I'm hardly ever wrong.  The point is, our air supply is depleting by the minute."

John found himself nodding and unable to stop.  It was quite possible that Rodney was right, because that might explain the urge to laugh.  And the fact that he's pretty sure that if he started he wouldn't stop.  "Then stop talking."

"Well excuse me, not everyone can be all stoic like you can," Rodney said, and it's a wonder that after all these times that John's ribbed him that he can still sound so offended by it.  "I'm worried, and when I worry, I talk, because it calms me."

John laughed then and managed to get it under control before it became an outright giggle.  "Rodney, I don't think you've ever had the privilege of hearing you babble quite as often as I have.  You ramp up until you're hyperventilating.  If you call hyperventilating calming--"

"Ya know, all due respect, Colonel, but sometimes you can be a real jerk," Rodney said, his head thunking back against the door beside John's.  His sigh was so loud John was pretty sure he might wind up a little deaf in his right ear.

"Look."

"Forget it," Rodney said, the panic leaving his voice and defeat taking it's place.  "You're right.  I might as well die without you being pissed at me."

John rolled his eyes.  "Rodney, we're not going to die!"

Rodney looked at him, eyes widening.  "Need I run through the list again?  We have no supplies, we have no means of communication--"

John's lips were on his before he could even finish the word and his hand was in Rodney's hair pulling him closer.  Later he'd analyze this and say it was precisely that moment that he'd gone completely insane due to lack of oxygenation to his brain, but just then, in that moment, it had been the most rational thing he could think of.

When he pulled back Rodney's eyes flew open and looked at him with such confusion that John found himself laughing again.  "What did you do that for?"

John passed a hand over his face.  "I'm not exactly sure," he mumbled through his fingers, looking up at Rodney and raising his eyebrows.  "To shut you up?"

Rodney blinked at him.  "Well it worked, because I honestly can't even begin to think of what to say about the fact that you just kissed me, and I don't know if that means that you wanted to, or if you're just suffering from lack of oxygen, and--"

John darted forward again, leaning forward on his knees to press Rodney's back into the door and it wasn't exactly his smoothest kiss, with their noses mashing and their teeth clacking, but it didn't take long before Rodney's mouth was opening and John was shifting his head to the side so their noses would fit and then John's tongue was in Rodney's mouth, and really, no matter how many times John would try to convince himself later when he was back in his bunk that night that this was lack of oxygen, he wasn't ever going to convince himself, because this felt too good, too right.

Rodney's hands were on his ass pulling him closer and his hands were propped on either side of Rodney's head and he couldn't breathe and his head was spinning, and he was so hard that when he leaned into Rodney's body he had to gasp at the contact.  Rodney was gasping back and John was rutting against him, and for one second he flashed back to high school when it was still acceptable behavior to dry hump your partner and then he was giggling in Rodney's mouth and Rodney was laughing back.

"We probably shouldn't be doing this," Rodney said, pupils blown when he looked into John's eyes.  

John just grinned at him and sifted his fingers through his hair, bearing down on Rodney's hips until Rodney's eyes were rolling back in his head and he was making his high pitched squeak that shouldn't have been sexy but somehow was.  "Not like anyone's gonna know," he said, laughing.

Rodney was gasping now because John had found his rhythm and it would probably be better if he'd thought to unbutton their pants first but he wasn't exactly thinking at this point.  "This isn't exactly the best way to preserve our air supply," Rodney choked out, his fingers grasping into John's hips and doing everything but pushing him away.

"Air's overrated," John muttered, dipping his head to nibble at Rodney's ear.

Every sound Rodney made, every time Rodney's fingers tightened on his hips, just made it better and better for John, until soon he was so close to coming that he couldn't even move his mouth anymore, could just breathe into Rodney's neck and smell the sweat.  

He felt it building at the base of his spine and his fingers tightened in Rodney's hair.  "Come on, Rodney," he growled into his neck, and that's all it took because suddenly Rodney was bucking up into him, his eyes squeezed shut and breath coming in quick gasps, and then John was coming too because apparently, at this very moment, nothing was sexier than Rodney McKay.

John was utterly and completely exhausted, right down to his bones, when he settled back on the floor next to Rodney, still trying to catch his breath.  

"Well.  That was interesting," Rodney said, swallowing heavily and watching John wearily.  "Colonel."

"I think under the circumstances you can call me John, Rodney," John said, closing his eyes and laughing.  "People I've just had sex with don't usually call me by my rank."

Rodney nodded.  "Next time I'll call you John."

John cracked open an eye and looked at him.  "Next time?"

Rodney's eyebrows rose.  "That is… if we don't die first."

John grinned.  "So now it's if we don't die, whereas before it was imminent."

Rodney frowned, reaching down and readjusting his pants.  "I'm perhaps a little more optimistic than usual after I've just had sex."

"Ah," John said, an easy smile settling on his face as he closed his eyes and rested his head against the door.  "That's good then."

"John?"

"Mmm."

"I just had an idea."

"'Kay."

"Perhaps if we used this radio that I regrettably had forgotten about in my pants pocket--"

"McKay."  John's eyes flew open.  "Did you just say that you have a radio in your pants pocket?"

Rodney's hands flew wide.  "Forgotten about, John.  I forgot!  I'm allowed to do that, sometimes, ya know!  There's a lot of pockets here!"

John sat up straighter, feeling his adrenaline start to pump again.  "This whole time while I've been sitting here listening to you bitch, and whine, and complain about our imminent death, you've had a radio in your pants pocket?!"

Rodney blinked at him and had the decency to look at least a little sheepish.  "I suppose this means I'm back to calling you Colonel now?"

John glared at him.  "To say the least."

"To be fair," Rodney said, pointing his finger at John.  "I believe it was you who shoved your tongue down my throat first."

If it were at all possible, John's eyes would be shooting daggers right about now.  "Your point?"

Rodney cowered a bit.  "That I was completely content to sit here and complain, and that you were the one who decided to make a move.  So.  If anyone should be being punished for that it should be, uh… you."

John shook his head and closed his eyes again.  "Just make the damned call Rodney."